I’m not sure where to begin.  My daughter was born 34 years ago and it was one of the happiest days of my life.  She was my youngest of two daughters.  She was a good child always smiling and never disobeying.  She excelled in school and was always eager to please.  She always persevered in the worst of circumstances.   Her father and I divorced while she was in high school.  She moved in with me so I could help her apply to colleges.  She graduated college with a Bachelor in Arts and then completed law school with a Juris Doctor.  Kirstie constantly worried and had these ideals and goals that she had to meet.  She had a five year plan, a ten year plan, etc.  She was in a committed relationship though she wasn’t happy.  She never got to practice law because she was one point from passing the bar which discouraged her.  She also felt she wasn’t where she needed to be at certain times in her life.  She wasn’t married and she had no children.

She and I were very close and I never understood why she wasn’t happy with herself.  Addiction runs high in our family.  She drank occasionally and later after she started having seizures I found out she was taking Xanax’s.  I begged her to get help but she stated she had it under control.  I also knew that she occasionally used cocaine but I did not think it was an issue.  I had a horrible feeling something bad was going to happen to her.  She had three serious accidents within one year and continued driving after she started having seizures.  A month prior to her death she started purchasing cocaine from some people we knew.  I spoke to her every day on the phone but was indisposed and hadn’t physically seen her in four months.  We were always there for each other.  She was my best friend.

I found out that her use had increased over the month but no one informed me.  Most family members didn’t know and she hid it.  Her boyfriend of many years knew but he wasn’t sure what to do about it.  Apparently they had been putting fentanyl in her cocaine so her use would increase and they would make more money because they knew she had it.  She was working for a law firm and had just been hired by the State Attorney General’s Office.  She was so excited.  She passed away on March 12, 2022 at 33 years of age in her bed.  The amount of cocaine and fentanyl found in her system were lethal.  My daughter did not purchase fentanyl.  She never used any type of opioids.  The people she went to used opioids and were having financial problems.

There is an open criminal case but I’m not hopeful there will be anyone prosecuted.  I’ve actually been doing my own investigating.  I know the authorities looking into her case are overworked but honestly I don’t think my daughter is a priority on their list of things to do.  I missed her last Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year and my birthday because of my own issues.  I want my daughter back.  Every day is a struggle.  I always said that she was the best part of me and now that part of me is gone.  She was very family oriented and put her family first.  Our lives will never be the same.  It still doesn’t seem real to me.  I miss her voice and her smile.  My child did not purchase fentanyl nor did she know she was taking it.

People who chose to use drugs need to understand the chances they are taking every time that they use and the impact they have on others when they are no longer here.  The people who are choosing to put fentanyl unsuspecting in other drugs need to be prosecuted for what they are doing.  We need to get the word out.