Garrett was born on Oct 5, 1995. He was not an easy baby; he was fussy and would scream a lot. He was also incredibly smart and knew his numbers before he could even talk by pointing to them.

We found out later that Garrett was on the Autism Spectrum. This made him socially awkward, led to frequent bullying throughout his life.  

We were fortunate that we could afford the resources he needed, and we tried everything to help him cope with his struggles. We enrolled him in many social activities such as boy scouts and CYO to help him form friendships.

In Jr. High, we sent him to a school specializing in learning and social challenges, Stanbridge Academy, thinking he would fit in more.    Unfortunately, Garrett didn’t feel that he fit in there either and wanted to be “normal” and attend a “regular” High School.

Garrett faced the same challenges in high school despite being highly gifted in music writing, guitar, bass, and drums. He didn’t fit with the mainstream student body.

Throughout his life, we always tried to fill his void by taking him fishing or on hikes. We sought counseling for most of his life, but it didn’t seem to help him. He eventually told a counselor that he wanted to take his life and was transmitted by ambulance to a teen psychiatric facility in San Mateo. 

This photo is of him the day he came out of the facility on birthday. His sister planned a trip to the pumpkin patch because he loved the pumpkin patch.

It wasn’t long until Garrett was back at school and struggling again. He eventually finished his last semester online due to social anxiety.

Garrett was accepted into college but was unable to cope there as well. The newfound freedom of college also led him into self-medicating with various pills and drugs.

He attended rehab and sober living homes three times. He looked so good coming out that I was naive to think he had been “cured.”  He eventually started pulling farther away and withdrawing from family events even though his family loved him. These were confusing and difficult times.

The cycle continued throughout his young adult years, and we had some dark times and some good times too. 

This photo is on a “date” that Garrett and I had made on his birthday to go fishing at Quarry Lakes.

 Garrett was aware of the dangers of Fentanyl. Still, he took the risk of taking a pill purchased, an un-prescribed drug, to escape the reality of  everyday living with his anxiety and depression. 

His doctor had prescribed him Xanax against my wishes. I held the bottle in my safe so he would not take more than prescribed, but that night he must have sought out more. 

The last time we heard from him was at 5:35 pm on Dec 6. On Dec 7, my husband found him on the floor in his apartment. I remember calling him and hearing him scream, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. He’s gone.”  We found out months later that it was Fentanyl put in a Xanax press to look like Xanax. Our baby boy went too soon.